Mostly Monologues

A few months ago, I started volunteering at the Kansas Humane Society. I thought it would be a great way to unwind from work, which it is. I won’t even need to talk! I thought, rather excitedly too. What a lie. I talk all the time -mostly monologues.

My official title is Dog Walker. I get my very own swipe card, keypad number, and Kansas Humane Society t-shirt. It’s pretty great. The volunteers where I work don’t get any of that. They have to wear their own t-shirts and knock on the door when it’s locked. I also make them sign in with old fashion pencil and paper and not on a fancy computer program like KHS has me do. This is because I am a Horrible And Evil Volunteer Coordinator.

As you might have guessed from the official title , I take the dogs on walks. Every day seems to be A Big Day Of Smells.

Often times a “walk” goes like this:

  • Three steps forward
  • 1 minute of smelling
  • One step to the left
  • 32 seconds of smelling
  • Cock head dramatically to one side, staring meaningfully to the left, front paw raised
  • Return to Interesting Smell
  • Repeat

I usually stand around and do play-by-plays of the walks. Out loud.

“Well, it looks like you’ve found an interesting smell right over here by this tree. This tree looks like it would have some good smells. Yep, it looks like it is a good tree to smell… Oh, we’ve moved on to grass now. This grassy patch is just fantastic. Are there lots of good smells here? Yep, it looks like there’s lots of interesting smells here. OK back inside we go!”

It’s pretty swell, not going to lie.

In honor of Our Quarter-Life Crises Challenge 9, I ran the Dog-N-Jog 5k to benefit the Kansas Humane Society. You can read all about my adventure over at Our Quarter-Life Crises.

A dog at today’s Dog-N-Jog.

Obviously there’s an interesting smell somewhere nearby!

Today’s Through My Headphones is courtesy of both Lacey and Eleanor, two fantastic people with equally fantastic musical tastes.

Through My Headphones
*Ho Hey -The Lumineers


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